RIP Autumn Pasquale

I mentioned yesterday that one of Trinity’s classmates had been missing since Saturday.  I want to thank everyone for their prayers, positive thoughts, love, and light for Autumn.  Unfortunately, the story doesn’t have a happy ending.

They found her body last night around 10pm in a recycling bin, which is basically a large, blue trash can.  No word yet on the cause or time of death.  Her autopsy is taking place this morning.

I just have no words.  I can’t even begin to imagine what that family is going through.  My heart is just breaking for them.  Autumn was 12; her 13th birthday is next week.  That’s too young to be taken from this world.  She had her whole life in front of her.  From everything I’ve heard, she was an amazing child: bright, smart, beautiful, sweet, and so full of life.  She didn’t deserve this, no child does.

I broke the news to Trinity this morning.  She opted to go to school and seemed to be handling the news ok.  I think she just doesn’t fully understand, and it hasn’t sunk in yet.  She wasn’t close friends with Autumn, but she did know her and was friendly with her at school.  I’d characterize their relationship as friendly acquaintances.

I feel selfish for worrying about Trinity when a family is grieving the loss of their child, but it’s my job as a parent.  I’m worried about how this will affect her.  I’m worried that this will haunt her for her whole life.  I was around her age when TWA Flight 800 crashed, and I carry scars from that tragedy still.  I always wanted better for Trinity.

Then I think about all the children I see out alone riding their bikes, playing, walking, whatever on a daily basis.  Some of these kids couldn’t be more than five.  This town has always felt so safe.  Parents didn’t think twice about letting their children walk to a friend’s house, ride their bike down the street, or play basketball at the neighbors.  I’ve let Trinity walk Spike around the block alone before and never gave it a second.

That’s all changed now, though.  We’re such a small community, and no one thought something like this could happen here.  The truth is it can happen anywhere.  This world is a disgusting place sometimes, and you never know who has the capability of doing something horrible.

Who did this to her?  Do I know this person?  Did I pass this person at the store or on the street?  All of these thoughts keep running through my mind.  I don’t know who I can trust anymore, and that scares me.

It just feels wrong to be continuing on with life as usual, to be finishing projects and getting ready to go running.  I feel like the world should be stopping, just like it probably has for Autumn’s family.

Life doesn’t stop, though, it just keeps moving forward.  I can only pray and hope that her family finds peace, and whoever did this to her gets what he/she deserves.

How do we go back to our normal lives after something like this hits so close to home?  To quote Megan, ‘You don’t.  Normal isn’t the same anymore.’

So, hold your children a little tighter, watch them a little closer, and pray that Autumn’s family finds peace, healing, and justice.

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About pamasaurus

"I have learned to keep to myself how exceptional I am." ~Mason Cooley I'm a married stay at home mom living in Southern New Jersey. I have one daughter, one son, and three furbabies. I love to cook. I love to craft. I love to sew. I just.... love to create in general. I also am pretty fond of adventuring, of exploring new places. I'm shy when I first meet people, but once I'm comfortable with them, you can't shut me up. I'm crazy and silly. I have an unhealthy obsession with dinosaurs.
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8 Responses to RIP Autumn Pasquale

  1. Very eloquent. This is a tough one. It always is. Out here, every time there is a tragedy, there are counselors at the school for a week after just waiting for kids to come to them when they are ready. I’m so sorry that today’s children will not know the joy of playing freeze tag after dark or running to the store for mom 1/4 mile away alone or trick-or-treating in the dark throughout the neighborhood next to yours (because they give better candy) with just their friends and no parents. This is how you learn independent decision making – and that is the hidden cost of monsters who kill children, who are just riding their bike to a friend’s home. We are quickly losing the independent spirit that built our country in the first place. Maybe Trinity will want to talk about it with you one day – be ready!

    • pamasaurus says:

      Thank you ❤

      Even when I was little, my mom would let us walk 1.5 miles down our back country road to go to the little store for candy/soda/whatever, then walk back without a parent or anything. I was always riding my bike everywhere.

      The world has changed so much and it's frightening.

      I'll definitely be ready. She's awfully quiet today, and is curled up watching movies in her room. She did talk to her grandmother (Daniel's mom) for an hour earlier after we went to the park to walk around a while.

    • pamasaurus says:

      And, they have arrested two teenage boys; 17 and 15 year old brothers. Apparently they wanted to steal her bike, and thought it would be better to kill her to cover their tracks.

      What a stupid reason for someone so young to die. I just… I have no words.

  2. Dabbit says:

    That is awful, it does seem so common these days for children to go missing. I can imagine how you feel about your own daughter, and those ‘did I see him/her’ etc are normal. I do have to wonder what makes anyone take a small child, but if you have seen any of the news from the UK, you will see it is covered by a late celebrity and the BBC who are accused of paedophillia. I sat and looked an my grand daughter the day after watching a programme about murders,and thought how would I cope…

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